life seems to be moving too fast - time is already closing in on the end of December and the new year is looming. Masters applications and real world jobs are waiting for me to attack and I just can't seem to get myself going. Well the MA application is going alright, I just have to keep on top of it or else at this rate it will be January 30th and my dreams will be lost in Lake Ontario.

So many pictures and things but how can I really explain? here's the highlights (in words):

- Elaine

- family

- food

- eliminating debt

- swimming

- baking

- crying

- selling

- drinking

- missing

- smiling

its been a couple of weeks since I came home from Winnipeg and life is starting to get back to normal. since returning I've come back to the realization that I have to start cooking for myself again, so I decided to venture into the wide world of chili, inspired by several beer drinking, sports watching filled nights at 45 High Park Ave with Joanna and Jordan. my culinary adventures turned out well! home made game day chili and low fat corn bread!

let me tell you, it was good stuff!

Halloween has come and gone which meant Sarde visiting and record shopping with her, Elliot Brood show, lots of candy at work and trying to find something to do that night. For once in my life I had the pleasure of not having to work my costume around a snow suit so I went as a mime, which made me really just look like a really cute french girl. Joanna couldn't think of anything so she went as Jordan which was handy because she was wearing all his clothes when she turned up at my place.

Pseudo Jordan waiting for the streetcar after a non-successful night out, on our way back to my place for spiral KD and caesars.

too soon!

I'm enjoying the Ontario fall as the leaves have taken their sweet time to change and their even sweeter time to fall. A nice change from snow fall on Halloween night to stomping through leaves down Bloor and wandering Kensington Market listening to the voicemail left for me by Kaari and Jeni - a serenade of sorts.

Time for bed because I have to wake early to leave to help at a doctors office in North York (yeah, its really north of me) during the insanity that is H1N1 madness. But first, the dishes.

currently listening to Girl Talk too loud and enjoying the breeze coming in from the window on this perfect day. Ontario has the nicest fall's because its not too cold where the leaves fall off, but they manage to change colour and stay on the tree's. I'm pretty enamored.

October Winnipeg trip was great too short and too long all at the same time. I miss my friends and my parents, but leaving T.O. for Winnipeg really showed me how much I love it here, truly.

the proof is in the pudding:

Just another Saturday night at Breanne's - Ian, Alena and Curtis glued to the computer

Jou just gets ready for the movies

We never could take a nice picture together....

...but she sure can dance! (Look how impressed/sexy Ian is...)

Curtis and Cali cuddling

they continue to dance....now with a wine glass!

*swoon* Marc Deniset checks the hockey scores...

Did I mention I graduated? oh yeah...

Michelle rocking her gown in the Religious Studies common room

nice mortarboard Dyanna...

obligatory shoe picture + omg gown!

Fraya, Paul, Aunties Esther and Sukie and I went out for dinner at the Gates to celebrate my 4 years of academic accomplishment:

some sort of Champagne cocktail I had too many of because they were mighty good

Paul and Fraya are too adorable, right?

Auntie Esther!

Auntie Sukie!!!

Kaari, Jeni and I went to the Moulin Rouge ballet Wednesday night, and grabbed dinner before the disaster that the ballet was...

Such lovely looking dates for the evening

When I was sitting in the Airport waiting for my flight out, I realised that I will forever be associated as an alumni of this:

lord.

goodbye prairie sky, back to where I belong:

it hasn't stopped raining here for over 24 hours. I've been inside all day except for when I went to return my movies and get some Mediterranean falafel. I had movies because Joanna and I had a Swayze tribute night at the end of my week of sickness. we made our own dinner in an attempt to save money. The proof is in the pictures:

there was a poster on my door and my neighbour from 214 told us that Roadhouse was his favorite.

stuffing for the stuffed tomatoes!

Joanna stuffed some good tomatoes.

these things were g-ood.

this is my spinach and goat cheese quiche!

this week was pretty normal otherwise, except for a small visit from Przemek who brought me Jeanies cake and a copy of the Winnipeg Free Press:

SHEM SHEM SHEMMY!

it was BANANA!!!

try not to read the ingredients, its basically the worst thing you could eat. But really,who cares.

the morning that Przemek left back for Winnipeg him, Joanna and I had a huge breakfast, which I now realized I should have photographed. Then later that night I met up with another Winnipegger for dinner.

Winnipeg will never leave you, no matter where you go, apparently.

the world is right when its cool enough to put a blanket on your bed and you get to write an essay analyzing the absurd conversation between Jian Gomehsi and Billy Bob Thorton on an episode of Q.

that is all.

today is the perfect Toronto day. Any day where its going to rain like mad is the perfect day.

after sleeping through my alarm, twice, I woke up around noon, ready for my first swim at the West End YMCA. I forgot how much I enjoyed the cool feel of the water skimming over me, and how effortless it feels to be in the water. Tomorrow I tackle the gym...can I do it? Yes I can! Not working during the week = working out! Its time to stop making excuses about settling in - I am settled, I am in, I am ready to hold onto that happy feeling forever more.

its raining!

this is the best time to finish up work and tie up loose ends before graduation. its not nice enough to go outside, but just perfect enough to keep the windows open, turn off the lights and listen to the rain (and change the channel off of Ghost Whisperer).

in an attempt to eat what I have in the fridge, I have stuffed myself full of fruit these days. this doesn't seem, however, to be allaying any of the illness swarming about in my body. colds, infections, bites (read: bug poison)...I wish they would all just leave and let me be a healthy me!

I am too broke these days to go out or do anything so I just end up staying in all day and sleeping/watching old Gilmore Girls.

tomorrow night is a free show at the Dundas Square off Yonge and a staff meeting, then dinners all weekend with the family. its going to be a long long weekend.

at the request of my cousins husband, I am blogging about shoulder pads. both him and I don't understand their use. I mean, I like a good strong shoulder line as much as the next person, but why go and muck it up with a big old pad like that? Blair would never be caught with SHOULDER pads, so why does everyone think its ok? Kids who weren't even born in the 80's dressing like they grew up then is a contributing factor to the decay of humanity in my opinion.

yesterday I spend the whole day with kids - brunch in the morning with my little second cousin Ella and then the Chilean's kids birthday party in the park way out in the suburbs. I can't tell after a day of kids weather or not I want kids, or I want to strangle myself for doing that the entire day. It was really nice to play and laugh and run and be kid like, but as soon as the screaming started I checked out. right now I'm wondering if the coffee on Via Rail trains costs anything....I hope not, I have no cash and I am in serious need of caffeine (Note: It does). All in all, it was an exhausting day and I am so glad that its over and I am en route to la belle provence!

in the absence of coffee, food and money (this is going to be a long 5 and a half hour ride) I am going to do work and consider all the amazing things I am going to do this week! I get to see Christine and maybe Richard and Candace! (ok the Via Rail guy HAS to stop talking about food beside me because I am going to start to cry soon) (also, i think I am the only person on this train without money because I am a) dumb and b) poor and everyone needs to stop eating and opening their food right now or I might have to steal it...I will make note to take out money for the ride home, as it is my birthday and I plan on getting smashed on the train and making everyone love me).

because this was such an early train (7:05 am departure) I had to be up at an ungodly hour. because of my early wake up I tripped up the stairs on my street car. because of the ungodly hour and tripping up the stairs of my street car I went to the GO Bus Station instead of the Via Rain station (upstairs) and tried to exchange my reservation for a ticket they didn't have nor could they give me. because of all this I am officially never getting up before 8 am again.

I love this train. seriously. this is the most dignified travel experience in Canada I've ever had. screw Air Canada. I get to plug my laptop in and blog from the Ontario/Quebec boarder (and did I mention all the stops in between?) this is so reminiscent of Euro trip '08 that it hurts: I'm poor, I'm exhausted, I'm on a train and I'm starving. I love this!!!

I don't know about you, or the rest of Toronto, but seeing D List Canadian celebrities in the Metro grocery shopping with their wife is seriously exciting for me. I went to do a special shop for a night that got un-ceremoniously cancelled when my friends just decided to be no shows and hang with their boyfriends (ain't it always so...) when I saw the dad from CBC's Being Erica (!). I was attempting to look inconspicuous as I examined the items in his cart from a few lanes away, but was seriously unsuccessful, as I am not sploothy at all. That certainly made my trip to Metro less anxiety filled, as just like Sobey's in Winnipeg (or the Taylor location at least) Metro makes me really anxious and I don't like shopping there...but I must!

the rest of the day was spent hanging with family, printing pictures off my printer, getting a carepackaage from Winnipeg that included my coffee table, watching Gilmore Girls and doing sink laundry as I am too poor to do actual loads of laundry. sigh.

tomorrow I work, then a brunch Sunday, THEN MONTREAL MONDAY! YAY BIRTHDAY WEEK!

I just let out the most ridiculous cough. my parents are concerned that I might have swine flu. I think I just need to stop going to bed at 3 am. However, I need to go to the walk in anyway due to a digit infection, so I will ask them to confirm that I don't have pig flu.

I know I keep mentioning how cold its getting but I've really been enjoying it. Dry hot during the day, and dry cold at night (also a potential contributor to my cold). Tonight I had to walk down College from Bathurst (about 15 min) because for some reason the street cars weren't running. This would have been fine normally, however, I had just purchased my very expensive TTC pass and it seemed like such a waste not to use it.

I have to go do things now.

pasta with pesto and cinnamon toast crunch is the perfect late night dinner after the perfect late night nap after the perfect day of grocery shopping and laundry (as it was a perfect day outside today).

despite the perfection in my life I am slowly falling apart physically - I'll get over it, but its hard to be sick without your parents. No one else is around to help you out but you.

because its been so cool here, I shut off my teeny tiny air conditioner and threw my one able window wide open to sleep to the sounds of College street - which would be a 24 hour street car and a bunch of Portuguese men arguing outside the men's club (and apparently someone taking their bike out for a spin in the lane between my window and the building beside me).

today, aside from groceries, laundry, and full seasons of Sex And The City, I finished putting things up in the apartment, and now it actually feels like an adult lives here. And then, between putting up my magnetic knife strip and shopping for limes, I realized that this is the first year in my life, well since I was a teeny baby, that I won't be going back to school in September. to cushion the blow of such a realization, I purchased my train tickets to Montreal for a week of birthday fun with Christine. ask me how I'm feeling on this subject when everyone is in the middle of Mid-Terms. I'll either be in the middle of an identity crisis or very relaxed.

I have to go do my dishes now, and then, I will sleep the sleep of a thousand years.

its getting colder here, and I almost can't wait for fall because then I can start wearing my Oxford shirts with pullover vests and grow grain ribbon bows 'round my neck.

today Joanna and I went to explore the beaches because on cold days like this, tourists tend not to go to those areas - however they were all over the Eaton's centre (where I did not stay long). In the long run, if I stay here and pretend I'm an adult, I would move there for sure (but with a car - we were on the Queen streetcar for 40 min and then a good 20 min walk).

now I'm in bed with Season 3 of Sex and the City and I plan on napping before going out down College tonight.

now for the long awaited pictures:

there. its small and its mine and I love it.

sleep times now.

on days when I'm walking down the street and the sun is shining and the music is blaring in my ears, I think how happy I am and how long its been since I was happy.

I haven't had much of a chance to shop because of financial constraints, but now that I have a job and money will start flowing, I can start to shop at my shop and get more fabulous shoes and maybe even some more boots. no, for sure more boots.

recent toronto events include: breanne and aaron coming to visit, and realizing that no more than one person is allowed to stay with me at a time; going to the island to play bocce ball with Joanna and Jordan (her BF) and wandering the heat of the day with gin in hand, being eaten alive by mutant mosquitos and soaking up the beauty of living on the water these days; visiting any and every pub down College and beyond with Joanna and Jordan in hand, 3 am walks and 5 am grocery shopping after attending a rooftop party.

upcoming events include: Christine coming tomorrow morning, shopping!, pedicures, giggling, drinking wine, eating fruit (I was on the verge of scurvy), late afternoon lunches, (more) riding the streetcar with the windows open and the wind on my face, working (!!), bocce ball tournemante grande on the island, and I'm sure more shows, mojito's, and generally being me (which is much more fabulous in this city).

sounds boring on paper, but its really the best life one could have asked for.

THE WORD FROM UPPER CANADA

Currently watching some crappy E! show Big Bang Theory (Kaari, some girl is wearing your Marc Jacobs hoodie on it) and eating milk chocolate chips after my evening of exploring Ossington for Pho with Joanna.

I was walking into Metro to get some necessary groceries (read: milk chocolate chips) when I looked up to see the CN Tower. When we left the restaurant the temperature outside had cooled down to the same temperature as body temperature so we weren't as awfully sweaty as when we got there, and I had an overwhelming calm come over me. Apparently, when in doubt, looking at the CN Tower all lit up makes me better.

Last night I saw Lykke Li with Emily at the absolute worst venue ever. It was amazing tho so it kinda cancelled itself out.

Wednesday night I parted from my parents and impromptuly went to the Yeah Yeah Yeah's show which was ALSO amazing.

today my mattress finally arrived so I set up my bed and have a fully furnished apartment just like other adults (pictures to come once I actually CLEAN).

tomorrow however, I am going to Yorkdale mall and to maybe apply more places down Ossington.

I'm going to have some bread and peach drink now and go to bed a very happy girl.

PAGE 16

Things I purchased recently:

Bloc Shoes from October - Miss matched sizes so I got them for mad cheap:

HOOCH Skirt from Asos.com:

and

Asos brand one shoulder jersey party dress which I plan on wearing to my fabulous E.U. party with my new shoes (and my new headband, which is cream coloured with pearls, but I'm far too lazy to take a picture of it and upload it...if I only had a mac...)

and I will finish this essay tonight.

also purchased a ticket to Toronto for July 31st, but cannot show actual evidence of such purchase.

also purchased (well, rented) an apartment. pictures to come in August.

I'm going to write my paper now.

AVOIDING

you can always tell when I'm truly trying to avoid school work when I have a million things on my Facebook feed and my room is spotless/filthy. sometimes I just sit there and look at my stuff then wonder how I'm going to send all that stuff to another city and put it in my teeny apartment. so then I clean out my stuff, like my jewelry from my bat mitzvah and devise a plan to melt it down for money. then I devise a plan to have a garage/yard sale because its going to cost me more to list my crap on ebay than to sell it there so I may as well just sell it off for cheap and get it out of my life and if that doesn't work its getting sent to consignment shops.

you can also tell when I'm truly trying to avoid school work when I make blog posts that make little to no sense.

I NO LONGER

...have to search for an apartment, because...

I HAVE ONE!

http://www.viewit.ca/vwExpandView.aspx?ViT=29647

yeah...thats my place.

APARTMENTS

MAKE ME REALLY STRESSED.

Thought I had the perfect place - too far away

Thought I had a place, ended up being too sketchy of a situation.

Thought I had another place, saw it in pictures - its gross.

Thinking I have yet ANOTHER place - thinking its going to be the best option - thinking I wish it was August so I could just get this over with already.

however I did get Paul off the subject/idea of me moving without anything and shipping it later and living in a hostel...and got him on the idea of making me a really nice sofa bed...maybe.

there is a mosquito in my room and its already bitten me twice. not cool. 

SOMETHING...

I never thought I would say.

Things I will miss about Winnipeg (as my pending move is coming more and more into fruition):

- BDI Ice Cream

- Prairie Sunsets

- Corydon+Gelato

- how hot it gets in the summer and when its just so overwhelming 

- Grosvenor street

- driving out to the beach

- prairie landscape

- Jeannies cake

- memories

- you, probably.

all this being said, I am very much looking forward to moving into my small, expensive apartment and starting my own life, and finding my favorite things about Toronto.

le sigh tonight.

I JUST...

spent a stupid amount of money on film for my polaroid camera. woops.

MORE THINGS I KNOW

I am utterly exhausted. spring session is slowly killing me and I don't wanna fight it any more. 

I've come to hate french and resent its existence.

I haven't felt this sick studying for a test since Forensic Anthro in 3rd year when I got so stressed out I puked all night and bombed the test the next day.

I am getting a cold, I know it.

I love accidentally sleeping for 2 hours.

I miss being not busy.

I would really like my cousins to say they love the apartment I found and then let me apply for it so I can start looking for a job to appease Paul.

Paul however did concede to having some furniture and my books shipped. this may mean I will have a naked room for the month of July but thats ok with me.

I am going to study passe compose. this is not something I necessarily know. 

THINGS I KNOW

I may not know a lot but I certainly do know these things:

Hugging Kaari is strange and I don't like it. she will agree with this.

I know its officially spring when the gospel preachers from the Church of Christ stand on portage avenue and play guitars and the scientologist is in the village every day also when I get sunburnt from being at the forks and I get to wear tank tops and skirts.

at any given time I will choose doing my nails and preserving my manicure over writing my minipaper no matter how late it may be.

I love to clean even if there's a lot of it to be done.

I need to clean the side walk chalk off my front porch or random strangers will think they can "come right in".

I should also clean up those balloons. 

TODAY

Today I played major catch up and did homework, took a nap, did laundry and dyed a blue skirt dark navy which turned out ridiculously well. then I did my ironing and now I am sitting down to do yet more homework.

Saturday is approaching fast and I am getting really excited! and stressed! I have nothing really accomplished in terms of decorations yet, and am hoping to get to the dollar store tomorrow, before my work pot luck where I have to dress up as some animal and I am at a serious loss as to what to be (suggestions?).

I am excited to pretend living on my own for the 10 days Paul and Fraya are gone, including the 28th/29th when I have two days off school for some strange reason so it will really be like I'm on my own because, well, because! that also means that may is almost over and therefore spring session is almost over and I could not be happier. Although, its not hard to be envious when its so horrible outside. 

I suppose I should really start packing things soon....

THINGS I NEED FOR THE ALICE PARTY

MUSIC

CUPS, TABLE CLOTHS, NAPKINS, PLATES, CUTLERY

FOOD - Kaitie and Hannah from work are baking some, but I still need volunteers. I was also considering doing some hummus and other dip with simple veg. and crackers.

BOOZE - Baby Duck for the poor girl awe yeah

DECORATIONS - still need to p/u some playing cards, print out pictures of cats and rabbits, and twinkle lights

TEA - Starbucks people have me covered. 

THINGS IN WHICH THE TEA SHOULD GO THAT CANNOT BE EASILY BROKEN - help with finding please - Dollarama had nothing.

any help is great help. read, comment and discuss amongst yourselves please.

RETAIL THERAPY

I've been having a really shitty week/weekend so I decided to do some retail therapy via my stores.

I got two pairs of chiffon tights (which are actually as amazing as they sound - sheer and soft) in grey and pretty coral.

I also got these shoes today:

which look much better in real life than in this picture - the back is the best because it has metal studs and looks all industrial and tough - but they are so pretty.

also, I got this dress because its pink and reminds me of tea parties and pretty hats:

and I have wanted an Obi belt for some time, and I figured the other night was the best time to purchase said belt off EBay:

(don't tell Paul and Fraya)

now I have to do some of the mountain of reading I have to do, go to bed so I can wake up for class tomorrow, go to U of M, go to U of W, have lunch, have class, go to the village, work, come home and cry probably.

it better go fast is all I gotta say. 

EDIT: I really need to start thinking up some music for this party of mine...thoughts?